We all try to make good first impressions, whether for a job interview, date, or new guest coming to our little house, we do our best to clean up. We tidy. We wash. We polish. We even go to extensive lengths to hide our most sensitive flaws. Of course we do Making a good impression is everything. The more we do it the more impressive we become. New tie. New dishware. New car. New house. Bigger house? I’m not going to suggest what the limit is where making an impression changes from good habit to unhealthy behavior because that’s probably different for everyone, but we should be aware of it consciously so we’re not fooling ourselves out of sustainability. You know you better than I do. I always clean up for a first time guest in my home, and while I can’t say I haven’t let myself fall into glorified purchase traps, I can say it is line I am more aware of the older and wiser I grow.
On one hand we have the little things we do that show we put in the effort, and on the other we have the things that social consumerism has sold to our need to fulfill our own sense of status. Are we trying to make a good impression or are we trying to impose our self-greatness? This is something everyone should be thinking about when they are shopping. Quality of purchase should mean things like cost vs. usefulness, and longevity. We often get that confused with brand, and public opinion. This is one of the most powerful traps of consumerism. And we fall for it frequently. Just look at watches and purses and track those two obvious items across the mall and count how many brands you recognize that identify with a personality in some way. They even sell fancy caskets to the dead, as if we need to continue to make an impression from the grave. We don't need to buy anything to make a good impression or to be remembered.
Occasionally we might find ourselves with this same purchase debate when buying for another person as a gift. Buying for others is specifically hard. What a purchase does, is it says what we think about their value in our lives. What brand we buy for someone says a lot about what they mean to us. But then, what does that mean to them? If the answer was as simple as ‘Nothing’, just ask a father about his son’s first car, or a daughter about her Prom dress. Buying for others can take great emotional strain. Were our thoughtful efforts put to good use by getting them a great gift? Once in a blue moon, there is such a thing as a truly great gift, but in my experience, dumb luck is involved because I had happened upon something that person was really craving, not because I did a wonderful job at brand selection. Most of the time we appease, and sometimes we even disappoint. Speaking of disappoint, returns are a huge part of the holiday season, Dec. 26 is one of the busiest shopping days, second only to black friday. What people remember about us are not the things we give them, but how we make them feel. Listen intensely, and modestly. Find humor, and laugh with someone. Encourage their dreams. Engage their minds. Give the gift of loyalty, and humanity. Its far more valuable than any purchase we make, and when consistent, it lasts a lifetime.
Gifts are impressive, they aren’t impressions. The harder we try to impress others, the more counterproductive those efforts become. Can we really outdo ourselves consistently with things, and declare that it is a sustainable path to winning friendship and love? My final suggestion on impressions is selfishness. That’s right. Selfishness. I don’t mean for us to all become jerks and to quit thoughtfulness or empathy. See above: Listen intensely. Selfishness doesn’t have to be a contradiction to integrity or humanity. Have you ever noticed that dedicating several hours of the week to your own health and fitness draws people to you, or even commands compliments and questions of interest? This is healthy selfishness. We need to do the things that make us healthy, secure, and above all else, happy. The better we do at self love, the stronger we become. The stronger we become, the more we impress ourselves. Have you ever reached a challenging goal, and were amazed at your own accomplishment? Its infectious to others, and its often visibly noticeable as well. Regardless of other people’s tastes or motives, the more we impress ourselves, the more impressive we are to those other people adjacent to us. And when we’re humble beings, living off of our merit alone, treating ourselves to accomplishment, and treating others graciously rather than trying to impress with those consumable gifts or self image products, and staying aligned with our belief in minimalism, we can transcend making an impression, and we become something else entirely. We become inspiration.
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