Curtailing Gift Glut

Halloween is around the corner, and we know what that means: The first of the consumer Christmas music, decor, and other holiday marketing tools are starting.  After a month we'll have Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and the final mad rush of gift stress before the big day.  That's right.  Santa is coming.  Its a two month extravaganza of present porn, and for the minimalists, the most dreaded aspect of goodness.  

I am sharing 7 brilliant tips from Joshua, partially because he's got kids in the house to consider, and because he's spot on as usual.  The little darlings add additional layers to this meaningful time of year.  In his piece, he goes into various types of gift givers, from love, to manipulation.  Personally, I am not ready to get so emotionally involved.  Focusing on the complexities of other peoples' giving motivation would just add to my own holiday stress.  Nevertheless, there are some helpful understandings written in there.  I simply don't want to dampen the spirit, or judge anyone, or even downplay anyone else' benevolence, because I'd rather stay hopeful, trusting in others' good intentions.  Honoring goodness is what this time is all about.  If you feel advanced enough that these tips aren't quite enough, and you'd like to wade into the greed reading pool, and attempt to improve on other givers' habits, go for it.  I fully support courageous efforts of the bold.  

I only added notation on the one tip that comes from an outside source, which I believe falls short of respecting others' emotions, or at least doesn't address potential negative reactions.  Without any further ado, here they are: 

1. Begin with fewer possessions. We have celebrated numerous gift-giving holidays and special occasions since deciding to become minimalist. Each time, I am reminded one benefit of minimalism is that there is “room to add.” Because we have kept our personal belongings and kids’ toys down to a minimum through regular sorting and purging, there is room in our home for new things to enter. Although adding new things may seem counter-productive to the pursuit of minimalism, it is in fact, one good reason to consider it.

2. Make your gift requests known early. Though it does not always work out this way, gift-givers should desire to match their gifts with the receiver’s wishes. Creating gift lists and providing them to family members well in advance of holidays and celebrations can be a very helpful tool in limiting the clutter collection. Work hard to provide a wide-range of gift ideas varying in prices. Again, follow this formula: request quality over quantity, needs over wants, and experiences over products.

3. Make a memorable statement. Issue this Holiday Gift Exemption Certificate.  

**JT's note on Gift Exemptions:   Some loved ones will really frown at this when you present the idea.  A response to a failed exemption attempt that makes a wonderful compromise is to request perishables/consumables.  The reason that expressing no need for stuff can be disappointing for people who strongly desire to splurge is because its how they express love.  How heartbreaking for someone to declare that their love is unwanted.  In that case, concede, and make a request for a favorite gourmet cheese, chocolate, wine, or liqueur.  Conceding can revive the holiday spirit in your kinship, and keep it from going sour.  These items all keep.  They are all special.  They won't interminably linger in your space.  

4. Be patient with your family. If living with less is a new pursuit for you, do not expect everyone else in your family to understand the first time around (especially if you are known for going through various phases in the past). Eventually, years down the road, they will begin to understand this is a lifestyle you are seeking to embrace for the long term and their gift-giving habits will likely evolve.

5. Humbly accept they may indeed have a good idea. Pride is always costly. It prevents us from seeing important life changes and other people’s points of view (among other things). This is important to remember when accepting gifts—especially from thoughtful gift-givers. When accepting gifts, embrace the idea that they may indeed know something that will add value to your life and benefit you in the long run. Be open to receiving their gifts and input. It would be foolish and proud for us to assume we know all the good things that could be added to our lives.

6. Purge guilt-free. It may take some time for you and your family to sort out which holiday gifts add value to your home and which only add clutter. With kids, it can often take months to determine which toys are a passing fad and which will become truly loved. Give it some time. But as the value of the gifts begin to reveal themselves, purge guilt-free. The gifts were given to you or your children (ideally with no strings attached). And, if they will find more use given to someone else, then please don’t hesitate to give them away. Rare is the gift-giver who wants their gift to be a burden on you or your home.

7. Reciprocate your request. You hope, desire, and expect other people to give gifts that align with your desires. Return the sentiment when you give gifts to others. Just because you make a desperate plea for experiences over products does not mean your brother, sister, father, or mother is requesting the same. If they would like new shoes, consider buying them new shoes. If they make it clear they desire a department store gift card for their birthday, at the very least, consider giving them a department store gift card. Giving gifts is an opportunity to show your love and appreciation. You can make your case for anti-consumerism at a different time.

Happy Holidays!

Temet Nosce

It is my most profound belief, that to be successful at Living Minimalism, or to be successful in any endeavor, you must, to quote Socrates, "Know thyself".  This integral foundation requires reflection, and introspection.  Knowing what you stand for, who you are, and what is important to you, is the bed of embers that keeps your fire burning when all the smaller sparks in your life fail to get you going.  The empty happiness that comes from small rewards will wane in the darkest hours.  But a person, with a dream that they feel in their core, will be sustained through things like, double-shifts, family illness, tragedy, or even temporary unemployment for several months.  It will drive them to make it through all of their hardest fought battles. 

"People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures." -F.M. Alexander 

Living Minimalism isn't easy, because it means change.  It means changing your habits.  It means taking the time to carve out excess.  Excess isn't just garbage; sometimes its the very real, and very enjoyable items of luxury that just don't fit with our core beliefs.  Living Minimalism means taking on some difficult tasks to achieve a dream.  Mostly, it means making hard choices, because choice always precedes change.  You choose to exercise more.  You choose to save your money, rather than spend it.  You choose to clean out your closet.  You choose to eat locally.  Making these choices once in while is good.  Making them consistently is a habit.  Habits are daily.  Habits require monitoring, and conscious attention before they become routine.  Routine of minimal living over time makes room for an exceptional life.  Implementation is tough, but deciding is the first, and hardest step to take.  Not choosing minimalism is choosing the status quo.  The status quo is easy.  The status quo is comfortable.  Choosing change is a challenge.  The hard decision to achieve everything will not have won until your dreams have shattered the ceiling of your comfortable sanctuary that houses you from your imagined fears.

"Make sure everyday you do what matters most.  When you know what matters most, everything makes sense.  When you don't know what matters most, anything makes sense." -Gary Keller

Dreams is what I wanted to talk about.  My professional guru, and the man in the preceding quote, calls this the "big why".  When thinking about goals, we all have some things we'd like to achieve, and most of them are not big enough, like hard work period might equate to dining out at a fancy restaurant, and splurging on a five hundred dollar bottle, perhaps to woo our partner, or just to celebrate a termination of a hard project.  That might work for a little while, but a little while isn't big.  Its a spark, not an ember.  A friend of mine wants to be able to buy real estate for each of his three kids, so that he can retire with the peace of mind that he alone has contributed to each of their futures in a permanent and meaningful way.  A few pictures of the little darlings in and around the office would be enough to remind him why he gets up for work each day.  There's real momentum in having a dream like that.  Its big.  Its deep.  Its his, and only his.  I don't have to understand it, and neither do you.  However, he does, and it moves him on the days he doesn't want to move himself.  I encourage everyone to discover their own "big why".  It can really help a person get into the happiest part of their lives, to really contemplate this, and implement parts of it into their daily tasks, either as a motivator, or as actual action plans.  CS asks, "What did you do today that brought you closer to your goal? ..and what did you do that drove you away?"  The brilliance in this is in the knowing.  Without knowing, any habit, good or bad, could be acceptable in our little daily choices.  Our little daily choices add up in a big way over time.  In the reflection image I'm sharing this week, the dream is clear, but the reality is hazy.  This is true to live.  Our daily struggles fog up our path that sometimes we need to reflect on who we are and what we want to see where we are going.

With so many methods of minimalism, how do I begin to implement? 

To be honest, that's up to you.  Everyone has their reasons for wanting to cut waste in their life.  Me?  I want more mountaintops and lake overlooks.  I want oceans and trees and wildlife.  I want adventure and lots of it.  You've got to  have your own 'big why".  Living Minimalism is not the endgame, its procedural.  Its simply a method of making more room for what matters.  More freedom is something in this age of excess, that we all desire. 

Do you have a big why?  Do you 'know thyself'?   Would you be fulfilled with the status quo, or do you secretly long for something more? 

Because when you start Living Minimalism, less is more.   Something more, is the reason.  What that something is for you is going to become your own life adventure.  

Live it!

And Kill The Economy

It didn't take long for someone to ask me what the effects would be on the economy if everyone behaved like a minimalist.   I believe his words were, "Wouldn't minimalism destroy the economy?", or something like that.  It gave me pause.  Because if we're not spending we're not driving the economy, and if you listen to the news radio religiously, like I do, this concern goes right to the heart of everything we care about.  We don't want to ruin everyone's lives, right?  So I started reading up on various minimalists positions on worldly economic views.  Many minimalists are life hackers, tackling closets, and kitchen organizers, and other things like that, and while they are brilliant and motivational, they don't directly provide helpful information on this topic.

However, by pure happenstance, I was already reading a book by a former engineer, and world traveler, named Jim Merkel, called "Radical Simplicity".  In one section he talks about the time he spent in Kerala, which is near the Himalaya.  The way he describes their community economy; the efficiency, the basic need fulfillment, the transparency, the security, the flexibility of it all, and the detail he goes into, makes you want to go there and see it for yourself.  Its idyllic.  Its almost like a dream, but while reading I continued reminding myself that he's talking about a real place, and real people, and real events.  His view of Kerala becomes what I imagine American colonists could have accomplished had it not been for expansion, firepower, or our overall greed, empowering us to achieve more than the next person in our neighborhood.  I'm not going to go into all his details, because you can read it for yourself if your so inclined.  Just know that living simply has been done successfully before, and by more than one culture.  Kerala was just his living example, and they were not at all flea bitten savages, in need of something more, that only a gigantic economy could provide.  They were content, healthy, and even more than that.  They were happy.

When it comes to economics the minimalist I'd trust the most with federal budget concerns is Mr. Money Mustache.  He doesn't trust journalists the way he trusts authors, and I completely agree.  Benoit Mandelbrot's theories on fractal geometry and non-linear equations helped shape market predictions, and he wasn't even a money guy.  He was a well studied mathematician who inspired chaos theory, and he's an author, a scholar, not a journalist.  The authors Money Mustache has read trend toward market misconceptions, and that scholars correct the new journalists who "tell you that consumers are not the engine of economic growth. They are actually the caboose."  He goes on to discuss imports and exports and productivity, and in a general sense describes every potential problem that minimalism could have on the economy would actually be a good thing.  Now, I too, like to be optimistic on this topic, and the reason why is that Wall Street is a flexible money sowing, harvesting, and devouring monster.  It wants to make money, and it doesn't care what is driving its profits.  When the housing market is going up or is strong, wall street bets on homeowners, and as we saw in housing bubble at the turn of the millennium, wall street also got rich betting against homeowners when housing was collapsing.  So you see, our economy always finds a way to invest on the interests of our 320 million worker bees, no matter what we're doing.

But a big hustle and bustle American economy already exists here, requiring perpetual growth and vitality, so: Can minimalism and a thriving economy co-exist?  That is what we really need to answer, at this point.  This re-questioning, is a minor edit to the original question 'would it destroy the economy'.  This little phrasing change, to me, is nothing more than how my mind solves a riddle with given clues.   Rather than look at it from an unknown disaster (ruined economy) as a starting point, moving backwards toward today, it seems more sensible to look at from what we know we have now, and attempt to predict what might come ahead, given some minimalists' changes.

As Joshua Becker points out, "those who argue they are incompatible fail to miss the bigger picture on two significant fronts: the flexibility of our capitalist system and the misunderstanding that minimalism represents zero spending."

I'd like to reiterate how he closes this sentence.  It is a misunderstanding if you've assumed that Living Minimalism means zero spending.  It does not.  It might mean spending a little less, but mostly it means spending smarter.  Living Minimalism is about tailoring your spending to better focus your daily actions toward your long term goals.  Living Minimalism is about funding your passion with as little waste as possible, so that you can achieve your dreams at a younger age.  Its about getting there with less clutter, which means less work, less stress, and fewer obstacles to overcome.  Minimalism isn't about downsizing to nothing.  Its about downsizing the wasteful junk we don't truly need so that we have more room to focus on what really matters.  This is the most crucial effort of any minimalist.

I've shared the optimist's view, and the realist's view.  Now, allow me to cut out the studious pleasantries and share my own view.   Let's look at this question on its surface, with all the assumptions about minimalism back in place.  Minimalists don't buy anything.  If everyone stops spending, economic doomsday will ensue and all my loved ones will be gasping for air underneath the collapse of wall street (again) and it will all be minimalists to blame for not contributing to our great society.  I mean that's really what we're asking about here, am I right?

6 main reasons why I don't worry about an economic doomsday scenario:

1.  The question itself sounds scary because it forces us to think about everyone changing all at once.  We're not.  A few handfuls of really smart people trickle into Living Minimalism, and when they do, their own life changes are slow as well.  My grandpa is the oldest one I know of.  He started in the 1960's, closing out his life accomplishment, with a book on how to build a Scandinavian log home.

2.  The question considers what if everyone did this, when we know dang well that all 320 million of us won't.  There will always be a lot of people who desire lots of stuff.

3.  The misconception that consumers drive the market, when really some argue the opposite.  In reality; its probably more like a symbiotic relationship.  Wall Street is nothing without us, while we are only supplemented by it as a tool for our peaceful trading.  In fact, if venture capitalists were investing less in buyer debt of depreciating possessions, and more in the business plans for peoples' hopes and dreams, we'd likely end up with new business models for interesting employment opportunities.

4.  The misconception that minimalists don't spend anything at all, when we actually do spend.  We just make ongoing conscious efforts to spend smarter than we did before.

5.  Stock markets are fluid, and flexible, and they thrive on transfer of wealth moving from one area to another.  So, if we choose smarter choices, as an example, we are only transferring our contributions from that fast food place over there to this local CSA farmer over here.

6.  As part of my Living Minimalism efforts, I have spent the past 15 years teaching myself to not worry about things I cannot do anything about.  And neither should you.

Made With A Degree of Separation

A fellow minimalist asks herself three questions about purchases.  One didn't inspire me much, so little that I forgot what it was.  Additionally, I don't know who the writer was (sincere apologies for not giving credit). Although, one of her three questions:  Would she come back for it in 24 hours?  I really like.  However, I think its only valid if I'm out window shopping at real stores.  So, this question doesn't encompass all of modern shopping.  Adding something to my cart and deciding later when browsing Amazon might mean I'll login from the comfort of pajamas at midnight, half tipsy from that third glass of wine, and buy that along with seven other new items.  I'm still seeking a safeguard from the convenient, and long term memory of online shopping tools.  Luckily for all of us Amazon has an easy return policy for accidental purchases.  But the commute involved in going to brick and mortar locations, means the forced return trip would be a hassle for something that wasn't crucial to my home, and that I can truly relate.  Another of her questions was about how something is made.  This is more important to some than it is to others in regard to socioeconomic politics, as in organic, or fair-trade, or made in the good ole US of A.  Though, I think what she meant was more personal, as in 'how long a thing might last'.  Regardless, all of those reasons are relevant in the big picture.  The value of things that last is a topic we already covered in the frugality and budget tracking blog, but I want to discuss how a thing is made in more substantive detail. Awareness of products is an increasingly discussed element of consumerism, because it matters to other humans, it matters to the environment, and it matters to our own bodies, as well as our conscience.  Society has come a long way from activists throwing paint at women wearing furs.

As thoughtful consumers, I believe it is important for us to understand the varying degrees of separation between us and the origin of our purchases to understand their true global cost.  Protip:  We don't have a clue most of the time.   To us, our consumption means intake, and extrusion of goods.  We bring them in and we send them out.

We've become more conscious on how we send things out. like sorting our recycling, and compost, and good will; things of that nature, and we've been hoping for government representatives to fight for us so we can understand where things come from, but so far its been a mostly uphill and losing battle.  We're losing so badly, in fact, that if Joe, the produce grower, wants to grow organically, and sell as such, he needs to go through a 7 year process, along with continued costly maintenance, so that he can advertise that his vegetable is "organic".  USDA Certified!  Meanwhile, Bob the monocropper, who doesn't care about that crap, doesn't need to certify a damn thing, and can spray whatever cancer causing toxin he wants into his soil.  Never mind, that one comes from your neighboring town and another came off of a container, shipped from another country, burning through fossil fuels, and refrigeration just to make it to your store without spoiling.  The last piece of fruit you ate:  Do you know which state it was grown in?  How about the last egg you consumed:  Do you know if the hen who laid it spent all, if any of her life outside running around in the grass?  These things do make a difference to our global and ecological impact.  And as humans, we've taken charge of the planet, and as the self proclaimed stewards, we must now be responsible enough with our choices so it will sustain life for all future generations.

Similar statements have been said about where clothing comes from.  Sweat shop tees from Indonesia, shipped around the globe, and sold at a competitive price, because they're made with a new, soft, poly blend, and when its discarded it never biodegrades.  Lately, the challenge has become so globally entangled that I honestly don't even know what is right anymore when it comes to clothing.  My oldest article is a Patagonia sweater that I got in 1992.  Man, do they make stuff to last.  But, now we're finding out that fleece fibers are polluting the waters.  So, needless to say I won't be buying another one, but I will keep wearing this one until its no longer wearable, which I'm guessing will be my entire life,judging from its performance thus far.  Its difficult to keep up with all of this.

Even though I find myself facing constant existential doubts over my own conscious choices, I can rest easy knowing that, at the very least, I don't buy excessively, and then subsequently, I don't discard excessively, just for the purposes of staying fashionable.  In case you doubt that this is possible, come visit my spruce green Patagonia fleece from late last century.  A sweater that has traveled all through the city and wild places with me, trail beaten in some of our continent's most rugged terrain, and continues to serve.  It has a couple of loving campfire singes, and its texture isn't what it once was, but its purpose still holds true to its design, and I refuse to care how dated I might look in it.  A memorable character from literature, the chaotician from Michael Crichton's "Jurassic Park" on why he only wears black, said, "I believe my life has value, and I don't want to waste it thinking about clothing."  Now that's Living Minimalism.

If you can be made aware of the origins of your products great, if you can't, buy with quality, frugality, and buy purposefully to meet your needs and stop there.  If you learn that something you are about to purchase is a destroyer of ecology, vote against it with your dollars.  If you find out that that someone already got your money, make the best of it.  Learn what you can along the journey, don't fret over the evils of the world, and going forward, make educated choices that align with your needs as well as your beliefs.

How have you dealt with growing consumer knowledge?

October Nod to 333

Fall has arrived in Saint Paul, and in Minnesota we have lots of work to do in October.  We harvest our crops, and bed down our gardens.  We care for our leaves.  We winter proof our homes.  That is all in addition to pumpkin carvings, and furnace testing, or log stacking.  Another big project is the wardrobe change over.  Some climates don't have to do this, but in Minnesota we have two wardrobes.  You might not have known that.  We have swim suits and flip flop season, and then we have winter boots, scarves, hats, mittens, jackets, long underwear season, and yes it does get that excessive.  That makes our wardrobe challenges extra difficult.

Living in a place where there are double wardrobes, means that for someone Living Minimalism they can make double the impact with their closet simplification efforts.  I've tried this a few different ways.  This year I am working with a highly recommended method, called Project 333, started by Courtney Carver.  My summer wardrobe doesn't require as many articles as my winter wardrobe so this should be a good challenge.  I'll summarize the project and [add notes with these box parenthesis] but you can read about it in more detail here if you require more guidance: Project 333  Personally, I think these simple rules pretty much explain themselves.

The Rules:

When:  Every 3 months [start whenever you want]

What:  33 items including clothing, accessories, jewelry, outerwear and shoes.

What not:  These things are not counted as part of the 33 items – wedding ring or another sentimental piece of jewelry that you never take off, underwear, sleep wear, in-home lounge wear,  and workout clothing [I find some of these to be a stretch, and tailored for a "type" of person, so please, modify at your own discretion.  Example: CS and I aren't married, but she does wear a ring of sorts in the same way a good christian spouse might.  We don't believe in strict definitions.  And clothes for a workout?  is that like a hobby? so maybe for me my house painting shorts, because I'm not a gym rat.  I think you get the idea.  Let's call these items: Small space, small use items, that get dirty, and are dedicated to one task]

How:  Choose your 33 items, box up the remainder of your fashion statement, seal it with tape and put it out of sight. [Now, for me this box is a rest stop.  If there is something I truly miss in there, I want to have it around for next year, but if I didn't need or long for those items, they're going to a donation bin because I'm not trying to get into a habit of more boxed goods.]

What else:  Consider that you are creating a wardrobe that you can live, work and play in for three months. Remember that this is not a project in suffering. If your clothes don’t fit or are in poor condition, replace them.

JT's best wishes:  Another project like this was started with a much smaller number, and people are succeeding even at that, but I thought this was a good place to start, particularly in Minnesota winter.  Good luck, message me your feedback.  What would you add or change?

What does it mean to buy frugal?

Frugal  [froo-gull]  adjective  1. sparing or economical with regard to money or food  2. simple and plain and costing little  3(Me).  This definition is perfectly boring and while it so unmistakably points out the obvious to us, it doesn't teach us how.  Nor does capitalism.  In fact, just the opposite.  One might say capitalism is an antonym of frugal.  Not really, but it sure acts like it.  So while we spend our time trying to figure how to live more with less clutter, let me tell you my theory on buying frugal and why it matters and a bit on my method of measure.

History:  The word’s earliest latin origin is that meaning Fruit.  Such a sweet symbol of simplicity.  Steve Jobs, world renowned tech entrepreneur, and guru, had a primary objective, which was radically simplifying our interface.  He recognized frugality when he chose his moniker.  He wanted technology to behave as an extension of ourselves rather than a bunch of machines we had to maneuver.  In doing this tedious task of blending our hand with our devices, he was a monumental success.  Just look at what his inspiration has accomplished.  Toddlers program smart phones to do things when their mom’s aren’t looking and when mom realizes what happened, sometimes even she can’t figure out the simple things her child did.  He made the learning curve of computation instinctual.  Our devices are doing things behind the scenes we have no idea how but they operate the way humans think.  Apple.  Fruit.  Frugality.    

I suggest we make it our mission to do the same thing Jobs did with his interface, with our personal economy.  Make our finances an extension of ourselves rather than have euphoric happiness on payday and suffrage while paying the utilities.  (Disclaimer: Nothing actually makes bills not suck) After each month goes by, and after we’ve wasted what flexible room we have to play around with, there’s little to show for it.  Most of us people don’t even track what we spend.  Do you?  I have been for a few years now, imperfectly at first, better as it becomes ritual, and it has been illuminating.  Start logging your receipts and categorizing them.  It takes some time to become a complete picture of your budget, but it doesn’t take long to start showing you your little disproportionate extras that could be cut.  Most people don’t have a clue how much a coffee habit actually costs.  

“The cost of a thing is the amount of life you exchange for it” -Thoreau, from Walden  I wonder if anyone has calculated their budget by hours worked translated from their income.  I'm tempted to try it.  Perhaps next year I'll begin this.  You see one of our goals is to live on what we need with an early semi retirement.  That means reducing our budget enough to work fewer hours and meet our needs, the opposite of trying to grow our household economy.  And we'll get there with time.

I first started tracking after I started a restorative and custom woodworking business because I was taught to buy a quality tool by the men who preceded me as craftsmen.  Some people call this BIFL (Buy It For Life), though not the guys I was taught from. They’d say catchy things like “a man is only as good as his hammer.”  I had a good hammer, but I bought at a garage sale from a retired carpenter.  I never needed a replacement for it.  When you’re starting out in a thing, you don’t even have a budget yet, if you’re lucky you have a loan and unlucky to have interest payments.  I had garage sales and a part time job with a wood turner.  So I got the idea in my head that better, or even best, doesn’t have to mean most expensive (although sometimes it does).  Good paint, for example, has a higher price tag than paint that sucks.  And trust me, bargain paint ends up being more expensive over time.  More coats, bad fading, sometimes adhesion issues.  You get the idea.

As we move through life, we move through goods.  We go through toothbrushes, toilet paper(which will be fun to discuss), shoes, clothing, travel mugs, computer technology, even friends, and let’s not forget the regular stops at the grocer.  As we do we become comfortable with brands, and we do for varying reasons.  Challenging our own brand loyalties with budget tracking and expense reports, we can test those brands against real dollars.  Example: I’m at the store and I see cheap TP comes in a 24 pack with each roll consisting of 120 linear feet, meanwhile Fancy brand supersoft double ply with soothing aloe comes in a 12 pack with each roll consisting of 96 linear feet.  I’ve tried both.  One is kinda scratchy but gets the job done, and the other is near pleasurable.  But how do I do the math?  Because even though my quick swipe phone computation software (thanks Steve) can tell me how much each sheet costs if I really want to count pennies, and it clearly shows the scratchy brand is about half the cost of the fancy brand, I also know that I have to unroll more of scratchy brand than I do the soft beautiful satiny paper because its also thicker.  Well the store math failed.  But!  I can buy and use each brand for three months, and with my budget tracking spreadsheet, in six months I’ll know exactly how much I'll need to spend on one vs the other over a year.  Now I can weigh my options more realistically.  And I might end up finding out that I’m not spending any more on fancy brand, or I might find out that fancy brand is just robbing me blind with softness as an allure, because by the time I stand up, wash, and leave, I’m only thinking about whether or not anyone is going to be walking into my smelly bathroom and I no longer care about my loving, or scratchy, experience of clean up.  That's the beauty of real time expenditure tracking.  Eliminating all the shopping variables and learning what works best for you, and being able to measure that with your real dollars spent, instead of fumbling around, and trying to rationalize the advertised pricing.  Their system doesn't work for our home.  It works for their competition with others and their bottom line.  Find out what works for YOUR bottom line.  Ahem. 

Some things are worth it because they do save for you over time.  Others are not.  Everyone’s usage is unique.  Buying cheaper is a good start to saving money, then buying best comes in and proves itself worthy of its markup, maybe.  More often than not, you'll be surprised that the cheaper version is just fine.  This is the way to know your purchases are the smart ones. Because not every man needs Mjolnir, like Thor does.  Whatever buying decisions you make, tracked spending is the only real measuring stick of the rule that “a man is only as good as his hammer”.

The Cost of Worrying

One of my earliest steps toward minimalism was learning to discard the emotional baggage of worrying.   It came from an old friend named Adam.  Adam was one of those guys who always lives his life thinking positive.  He behaves in such a way that by being constantly optimistic about his decisions, he influences enough of the outcome to make a difference in his favor.  He used to say, "Let's get something done, even if its wrong."  There is science behind this method, and it works.  So out of respect for science, positive thinkers, and my friend, I'll just leave that, and not go into how annoying it can be for us people who don't religiously follow this strategy.  I'll say this.  If you do, and it works for you, awesome.  Share it in a blog so others can learn.  Live it by example.  Don't bring it up in a preachy way to a friend, especially when they're suffering for some reason.  Its not the right time to teach optimism tactics.  It makes them wish they could intentionally vomit on you.  You're right and slower, inward thought type people can't stand it that you are. 



I was a worrier.  I still am.  Its one of my biggest weaknesses.  I can't help it.  I'm a bit of an empath.  I feel others' pain and I concern myself with others' struggles far too often.  Its because I care.  Its because I love.  Its because I'm human and I want the best for everyone.  And often its completely useless.  Example: Its October 2, 2017, which happens to be the 35th anniversary of my father's death, and overnight, someone shot a concert from a window, killing 50 or so people, and injuring 500+ more.  I've lived loss of a loved one enough times to feel the  people grieving.  It makes me sad.  I'm thinking about their families.  I wish I could take it all away.  I wish I could reach out and heal all the hurt.  Nevada emergency services were phenomenal in their first response efforts.  The hospitals are doing all they can.  The families are all doing what they can.  I used to think I could if I felt sorrow hard enough, that my concerned heart could make a difference by feeling the world's pains and loving at them.  People often express this with prayer.  And I'm thinking of Nevada and all her people.  That's the desert where I lived when I learned from optimistic Adam.
  
It was after work, and we had a project that was started on my equitable proposition.  Our department had been tinkering our way around a production line issue for years, and talks had begun to shut that line down.  I had an idea to tackle it.  I pitched it.  The CEO approved it.  I completed the details of my revised product design.  We spent two months building things, and ironing out functional modifications to put my plan into action, and we were coming up on our deadline.  The final days I was on edge, both trying to tie up all the loose ends, and pondering the outcome.  Peoples' jobs were in the balance pending the success or failure of this new process.  My good friend, Adam noticed me excessively venting about it, and he patiently allowed me to voice all of my concerns.  Afterward, he asked me if I had done all I could.  I answered with a sharp "Of. Course. I. Have."  I mean really, you see me caring, right?  Can you not see, I am putting everything I've got into this.  My professional stress level had reached the red line. If it doesn't work out people could lose their jobs, their homes, their entire livelihoods, maybe a spouse, or kids even.  I dumped the world on top of this project.  Then he asked me, "Is there anything you can do about that?"   I paused, and in a state of utter humility, I realized that not everything is within my power, and that all that additional stress was not my responsibility.  Later, the project worked out and that handful of personnel did get to keep their production line open for business.  My idea, and our implementation, restored the equity of that product.  My loss of sleep, and gain in blood pressure did absolutely nothing for them, but it hurt me, and I realized then, that rising stress level could have hurt the results, had it consumed me badly enough to impact my work any in a negative way.  Thankfully, I only let it hurt me, and my happiness, and maybe Adam's ears.

I still struggle with worrying too much sometimes, but my awareness of what I can and can't control really helps me.  I catch it now.   Now, every time I feel worried.  I ask what I can do and if I'm doing it.  If I'm not doing it, I do something.  If I've done my part, I consciously make every effort to let it go.  I'll always be grateful to Adam for his patient way of teaching me this with a simple question.    If you worry, and you feel yourself dwelling on something negative, and feeling helpless, ask yourself what you can do, and if you're doing it.  Reduce the cost of worrying by ditching the emotional baggage that comes along with empathy and forgive yourself for not being able to be super human and fix everything.  Do something.  Even if its wrong.  You might just get lucky and do something right, and if not, at least you'll learn something.